6 Things You Need to Know Before Your Ceremony (5)Photo Credit: Sarah Day Boodhoo Photography

Today’s guest post comes to us from Reverend Jack Cuffari of Ring, Candle, & Knot. Jack is an Interfaith/Interspiritual Minister and Marriage Equality activist. Since 2005 he has married dozens of couples of all beliefs and combinations thereof. Jack is active in ministry at the First Congregational Church of Montclair, NJ, Here he offers a few helpful tips to consider before your wedding ceremony:

As someone who marries couples for a living, my perspective is unique, and from what my couples tell me, invaluable. Here are some important things to consider as you plan your wedding ceremony.

Read the full post after the cut!

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1. Your guests want to know why they’re there.

You may think that your guests have simply resigned themselves to sitting through a ceremony so they can hit the open bar and dance the evening away. But the truth is that we all hunger for the meaning behind important milestones. Weddings deeply symbolize hope, the future – and love. Is there anyone who doesn’t need to hear that?

2. It’s your Wedding Day – not your mom’s or your dad’s or anyone else’s.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to convince younger couples (and sometimes even remind more mature ones) that this is their day to celebrate their bond, their relationship, and that it can be exactly what they want it to be – and doesn’t have to be anything that they don’t want it to be.

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3.  Think 20 years beyond your Wedding Day.

What do you think will be remembered and talked about? The sundae buffet? The photo booth? Doubtful. People will remember your Love Story, what was expressed in words, symbols, and rituals, all the elements that reflect the authenticity of who you are as unique individuals and as a unique couple. These are the things that resonate with people.

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4. Even if you’re not religious, your wedding can and should be profound and moving.

Love is transcendent. It is a spiritual condition, and set apart from other human experiences. Your wedding is an opportunity to honor it as such, and to remind everyone present that Love is a force of nature, a force to be reckoned with. Love matters, and we all need to hear that.

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5. Size doesn’t matter.

Two hundred guests at a huge banquet hall or twenty guests in your backyard, your wedding is still a deeply meaningful milestone event – for you and your community. It isn’t a competition.

6. Reflect on and be clear about your values and beliefs.

This is an extension of #2: the things that you consider important in life as individuals and as a couple – your core values and beliefs – should be woven throughout the ceremony. You are completely unique and have deeply held convictions. Express them.

Thank you Jack, that’s great advice! For more information Ring, Candle, & Knot, please visit the WeddingLovely Vendor Guide profile or head straight to the website.


Do you have any questions or comments for Jack? What wedding ceremony quandaries are you facing? Add them to the comments below!