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Weddings are wonderful but doubtlessly stressful for the people organising them. Holly from Will Williams Meditation, who help people tackle stress and reduce anxiety with meditation, explains how to manage wedding nerves as a couple:
Getting married is probably one of the most exciting things you’ll ever do, but unfortunately, excitement often goes hand-in-hand with some nervousness! Whether it’s wedding-planning stress, anxiety at being the centre of attention, or worry that it’s all going to go wrong at the last minute, weddings can make you pretty apprehensive. But no matter how uneasy or stressed out you get, there are things you can do to manage wedding nerves, together!
See more after the cut!
When Getting Married Gets Stressful
There’s a bit of a cliché that it’s only “Bridezillas” that get super-stressed out about their weddings, but the truth is we all (and this includes the grooms) can get overwhelmed in the run up to such an important day. Having to put on a party when you don’t know the first thing about event planning, trying to find the perfect outfit, spiralling budgets, not to mention the solemn commitment you’re about to make – it would be enough to make anyone feel a little thunderstruck.
It isn’t only the practicalities and pressures of completing such a huge organisational task either; there are plenty of ephemeral worries that can crop up. Maybe you feel you have to lose a stone in a “shedding for the wedding” panic or are facing the challenge of managing tense family situations – weddings can bring up many unforeseen issues. Furthermore, while many relish the idea of “their day”, shyer people can find the prospect of all those eyes on them intimidating.
Whatever your worries, here’s how both you and your partner can make yourself feel calmer.
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Work out what’s bothering you
Even if your wedding is some way off, that doesn’t mean it isn’t taking up approximately 70% of your thoughts. There are hundreds of memes about stress and wedding planning stress and wedding planning for a reason, and a survey by Zola found that 96% of people find wedding planning stressful. The first thing to do when trying to manage wedding nerves is work out exactly what it is you are worried about. Is it the pressure of other people’s expectations, the sight of your to-do list, or something else entirely?
Tackle the big problems first
Once you’ve found the source (or sources) of your concern, make it your priority to sort this out first. Like ripping off a plaster, getting an unpleasant task out of the way will make you feel a little more relaxed, and make the whole process smoother from here on out.
If it’s a family member who is arguing with you about your ideas, sit them down to work out what your boundaries are and what you are willing to compromise on, roping in your partner for moral support if you aren’t very assertive.
If it’s the budget that has you pulling out your hair, scale back your expectations and be truly honest with yourself about what you can afford, working out the things you two consider essential and the areas you can save money on.
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Bring Meditation into Your Life
Now is also a great time to bring a healthy, stress-busting habit into your lives. If you take up meditation in plenty of time before the wedding, it will be a well-established as part of your routine. But even if the wedding is imminent, you can still benefit greatly from the practice. Hundreds of scientific studies and limitless anecdotal evidence confirm that meditation helps us feel calmer and less anxious, as well as reducing our stress.
So even if you are having nightly anxiety dreams about the dress not turning up, and are full of butterflies at the prospect of walking down the aisle, there are lots of ways meditation can help to manage wedding nerves! Here are a few of the plus sides of this practice:
● It actually reduces the size of our brain’s “stress-center”. Brain scans have demonstrated that just eight weeks of meditation reduces the density of amygdala, which is what triggers our stress response. This is some solid, physical evidence to back up what many people have always suspected – meditation makes us calmer and less anxious on a profound, neurological level.
● Meditation improves our sleep. Wedding nerves can have us up at night, ticking off to-do lists in our heads and agonising over details. This lack of sleep just contributes to the stress and makes us feel worse, but meditation helps those who have trouble sleeping – people have even reported that it cured them of insomnia.
● It makes us look brilliant. Stress really isn’t great when you want to look your best. It makes it difficult to maintain a healthy weight, it messes with our digestive system so we’re constantly bloated, it ages our skin, causes spots, makes us unwell – the list goes on. By reducing the levels of stress hormones in our system by up to a third, meditation helps us look great, with glowing skin and visible happiness.
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There’s still an expectation that when it comes to anything domestic or emotional, women have to do all the work. You may work full-time, but somehow it’s still your job to ring the venue, sort the guest list, calm the waters with arguing in-laws, as well as a hundred other things once you get home. This isn’t anyone’s fault in particular; you may well have taken on all this extra work without thinking about it, with a partner who’s equally oblivious to the fact that you’re shouldering most of the burden.
This means that you have to think about the division of labour and delegate. Make sure you schedule wedding-free days with your partner and choose someone in your wedding party to deal with any on-the-day hiccups, so the two of you can concentrate on having the best day of your lives.
Letting go a little and allowing yourself to enjoy the process of putting your wedding together will be much easier with these tips on how to manage wedding nerves, together! Just remember – it’s going to be absolutely beautiful no matter what happens.
WeddingLovely and Will Williams Meditation teamed up to share with couples how to tackle their wedding nerves together with this partnered list of expert tips.