Child-free weddings – how to plan them while staying respectful

While some parents may want to involve their little ones in your celebration, your plans may be quite different. Many brides and grooms are opting for child-free weddings. Such events are increasingly popular, but at the same time – controversial. Find out how to plan an adult-only wedding without offending your guests.

Is wanting a child-free wedding selfish?

This is a question that troubles many soon-to-be-married couples. In fact, some of them decide against adults-only ceremonies just because they don’t want to offend those guests who may want to bring their children with them.

But let’s be honest. It’s your wedding and your big day. So, are you being selfish for planning it a certain way? Not at all. There are several reasons why you might want a child-free wedding, and here are just a few examples:

Weddings are no fun for children

Unless you plan to hire professional babysitters or children’s entertainers for your wedding, your youngest attendees simply will not have anything to do. Most children are not interested in adult activities and will get bored quickly, resulting in wandering off and stressing their parents, disrupting other guests, and misbehaving.

Small children are loud and disruptive

It’s okay to admit it, even if you love the little ones more than anything. Small children are simply too young to sit patiently and behave for hours at a time. If you are inviting families with children to your wedding, you need to prepare for screams and temper tantrums. It’s part of being a child.

Your guests want to relax and have fun, too

Most wedding guests expect fun activities and a good time. Your attendees may not be able to fully enjoy themselves with small kids running between their legs. Besides, children are cute, but they need a lot of attention. If you plan to invite parents, they might be grateful for having the night to themselves.

Parents will kids have to leave early

If you are inviting entire families to your wedding, keep in mind that they won’t be able to stay until the end. Children will quickly become exhausted and overwhelmed. If you want the party to last all night – consider inviting only adults.

How to invite guests for a child-free wedding?

It’s completely understandable that you may want your celebration to be for adults only, but keep in mind that for some people, weddings full of running kids are the norm. This is why you should make it very clear from the start that you are planning a wedding without children.

Here are some tips on how to plan an adult-only wedding and minimize the risk of confusing your attendees:

Let your guests know early that the wedding will be for adults only. Remember that wedding attendees will need to find childcare beforehand. Don’t withhold this information too long, or your guests will not be able to make it.
Don’t use phrasing such as “no children” in your invitations. Be tactful; instead of inviting guests to a “child-free wedding,” use words like “adult-only.” Or, even better, address them strategically (more on that in the next part of this article).
Think about rules and exceptions in advance. If you don’t mind having older kids (e.g., 13+) or nursing mothers with infants at your wedding, specify that.
Confirm the number of guests with RSVPs. When creating RSVP cards , it’s a good idea to include a designated space to write the number of attendees or word it in such a way that attendees know exactly who is invited. For example, you can leave only two blank spaces for guest names.
Expect that some guests will not show up. You need to keep in mind that some parents will not be able to leave their children, especially if they have to travel for your wedding. Finding care can be difficult and/or expensive. Don’t be upset with parents who just can’t make it.

Child-free wedding – invitation wording

How do you invite guests to your wedding and make it clear that you don’t want their children to come along? This question is a tricky one because you want to avoid misunderstandings but also to be respectful.

The most subtle way is to address Save-the-Date cards and invitations in a way that leaves no room for questions. Instead of inviting “the Smith family,” you can invite “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” or “Mr. Smith with a plus one.”

If you want to be extra clear, you can add a note to the invitation informing guests that the party will be for adults only. Also, if you use the Internet to provide details about your wedding (e.g., a wedding website), disclose the “no children” rule there.

Last but not least: remember that this is your big day and no one else’s. It’s okay if you feel you will enjoy yourself to the fullest in a child-free environment. Just remember to be tactful when informing your guests of this rule, but don’t back down if someone gets upset. You are allowed to plan your wedding the way you want it!